I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
