Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
