i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
