But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
