There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
