Me. At least after what I've been through.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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