I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
