some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
