he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
