we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
