Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
