How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
