just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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