I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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