Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
