I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
