it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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