yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
