so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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