Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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