Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
