Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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