last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
