everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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