Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
