It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
