I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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