Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
