just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
