Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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