return my video game
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
