I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
