Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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