So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
