You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
