Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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