If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i believe in u and ur pee
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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