You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
