It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
what day is it and did you see me today?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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