You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
