Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
