very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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