The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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