i'm signing you up for texting rehab
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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