If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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