You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
