bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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