He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
