I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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