Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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